1.8.11

i don't give a shit.

I still have those words on my cell phone. The words that I want to send it to you through the blackberry messanger that night. I pondered my intention to do that because I still loved you.things change, ppl change, u change. we used to talk for hours and now i'm lucky to talk to u for a few minutes a day. u used to want to be with me and u make it seems like u're always to busy.i remember the jokes,laughs,story we shared. and i doubt u remember any of that. there's something that made me uncomfortable with u since that day. everything changed just like that, everything just happens without a definite reason.u're changing and i can't accept that.i'm tryin but i can't.I don't know what happened to u so that u change so quickly. When I asked about it to u, u just stay quiet or divert our conversation,or u just yelled at me like "hellyeah,ppl always change you just have to adapt yourself to the situation'' and the worst are u mad at me for no reason. I just want the certainty of this relationship, i mean why should we continue this relationship if u're not even love me anymore.It seems like u don't want me to be with u anymore . Everyday i'm tryin to understand u and tryin to adapt with the situation just like u wanted me to do, but u kno what? i just can't hold it any longer dude. my heart still loving u but i doubt do u still love me or not. Untill i need someone to talk to that night and guess what? yeah you're not there, i don't even kno where were u that night.Ireally can't take this shit anymore, i'm so done with all this bullshit, till the night that i called u and asked u to end this relationship. At the end..i decided to get back with u and give u a second chance. BUT YEAH i'm in the same old shit,same feeling,but different timing. how could u be so mean nan? until finally I was very tired with everything, and discuss this prob with u. u decided to end this relationship with anger. at the time I'm confused, to feel what. on the first side I feel happy because i don't have to hold this pain any longer. but on the other side I feel sad, because I'm still loving u, but we're done so there's nothing i can do but cry. I get the message that morning and it was from u. u say u're sorry. but I'm not sure if what u say is true or not. until the day, u were asked to come back to me. I'm so confused at the time. I really need time to think about it. until finally I've got the answer. but first, I want u to feel what I felt during this time. and yes, what I wanted was successful. and finally we're get back. yeah, I hope this is the last, and I hope you're not gonna make me disapponted anymore.because there will be no third chance.
bye bloggyoggy thanks for reading.

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